Soft Ruthlessness & Direct Communication is Interactive Free

[00:07:18] I sometimes talk about ruthlessness from the Don Juan or Toltec tradition and and when I say ruthlessness I don't mean a harsh, sharp grabbing or forceful energy. [00:07:34] For lack of a better word, I have to use the word so I don't know a better one, but it's just this soft ruthlessness or just or you could say unbending intent where it's just you say things as they are and we're having this conversation earlier today is just the importance of being able to communicate with people that are able to do this and not everybody's able to do it. [00:08:00] It's to speak absolutely directly about what's going on for you with the other. [00:08:05] With and these are rare, rare, rare relationships. [00:08:11] I mean, you're going to have them more in satsangs, but they're rare where you can just speak completely honestly and truly with somebody. [00:08:19] And just to explore what's going on inside you and going on inside them and checking to see if it's true or not. [00:08:26] And but even if it's not checking it's true, it's just that's what's happening. [00:08:31] And there can be a an agreement or a disagreement and I think you're wrong. [00:08:36] But okay. [00:08:38] And you and you get to a space of freedom within relationship. [00:08:42] Where there's not just all these lumps under the carpet. [00:08:46] That you're going to trip on and you have to navigate around and oh I can't go here, I have to go around there. [00:08:52] Oh gosh, I can't do this, I can't do that. [00:08:54] And and you you can get a a relationship or freedom from it. [00:08:59] Where you don't have to be an actor anymore. [00:09:02] And the other doesn't have to be an actor. [00:09:04] And there's this simple, free, and you can sense it and feel it. [00:09:08] It's free simple connection that can occur. [00:09:12] It's extremely rare. [00:09:14] And powerful. [00:09:15] It's freedom in relationship, isn't it? [00:09:17] It's it's an interactive freedom. [00:09:20] Everyone, I think everybody would know how rare these are, no. [00:09:24] Can you? [00:09:25] Look through your relationships. [00:09:27] Where you don't have to dance around different things. [00:09:30] And you can just be completely honest. [00:09:33] And you both grow. [00:09:34] You both learn. [00:09:36] You learn things about yourself and you learn things about the other. [00:09:39] And others. [00:09:40] And in that you learn more about yourself as well. [00:09:43] And and it's an opening. [00:09:45] And you can feel it. [00:09:46] As I said, you can feel it when you're in those dynamics. [00:09:49] It's just this sense of freedom that can be there. [00:09:52] It's free-flowing. [00:09:54] Untainted, untarnished. [00:09:56] Beingness meeting beingness in a way. [00:59:59] I mean, there may be distortions in the in the field, and that's okay. [01:00:03] And there may be distortions. [01:00:04] It's it's as close as you're probably going to get at whatever level you're at, at whatever consciousness level or understanding level you're at. [01:00:13] It's the simplest, most beautiful thing as far as interaction goes. [01:00:16] Anything under this, isn't it? [01:00:19] Anything under this is is is a dance of shadows. [01:00:23] You could call it polite and and and all these things, but really it's an avoidance and it's a dance avoiding each other's triggers and patterns. [01:00:32] It's not legit. [01:00:34] And it's not possible to be from the heart there properly. [01:00:38] I mean, interactively, You could argue, of course, that in your acceptance of the other that your heart, and I'm not saying this is not the way to go. [01:00:46] I'm not saying if somebody can't meet you there, you can't just meet them from the heart and be there for them, understanding where they're broken and where they can't heal. [01:00:54] And you can completely be open there. [01:00:57] I'm talking interactively, truly interactively. [01:01:01] It's the simplest, most beautiful thing as far as interaction goes. [09:42] if I'm feeling a bit off, and I talk about it, then I'm being drama queen. [09:59] Yeah, but that's incorrect, isn't it? [10:00] Yeah. [10:01] You know that, right? [10:02] It's like I'm I'm feeling off. [10:04] Yeah. [10:06] Where's the drama in being honest? [10:08] Yeah. [10:10] So you mean you got a drama in your heads. [10:15] Honesty is key. [10:17] Yeah, it's kind of how I started this. [10:18] And just be honest. [10:19] Don't don't have to be honest. [10:20] Dramatic doesn't, honest doesn't mean dramatic. [10:21] It's a simple honesty, it doesn't mean there's something is there has to be big conversation or anything has to happen if I say that I'm feeling a bit off. [10:26] It's that simple. [10:27] I'm feeling off. [10:28] But it's okay. [10:28] It'll pass. [10:29] Or I need some help. [10:30] Or. [10:30] Yeah. [10:31] Pretty simple. [10:37] Honesty is key. [10:39] Yeah, it's kind of how I started this. [10:40] Just be honest. [10:43] I kicked my toe today. [10:44] It hurt. [10:45] Or hang on a minute. [10:46] I thought the awakening deal was no more suffering. [10:47] This is no good. [10:48] I'm out. [10:48] I quit. [10:49] It hurt. [10:50] But it was okay. [10:51] The pain went away. [10:52] Does that make sense? [10:54] People are going to say mean things and do mean things to you too. [10:57] Perhaps quite often, even more more stuff comes your way. [10:58] Yeah. [10:59] You know, yeah, but when I woke up all the problems, no, more come often, more come. [11:00] You don't have this utopic fantasy. [11:04] So what? [11:07] It's as it is. [11:08] Oh yeah. [11:15] And again, is it is it is it not allowed? [11:17] You know, I used to say it all the time, didn't I? [11:18] It's like, it's like we want to handpick the rainbow colors. [11:21] There's a rainbow, you know, I'm not into red. [11:23] I'm sorry, we're just going to have to cut the red out. [11:26] In your finger, hiding the colors you don't like. [11:28] There's all the colors of expression coming through your system. [11:31] And resistance to it is like resisting the colors in a rainbow, really. [11:35] Just pull it back to its truth. [11:36] That's the truth. [11:37] I'm not asking you to do anything weird or Remember, Vedic texts or Buddhist texts, it goes for three days. [11:43] It's just very simple. [11:44] That's the truth. [11:46] So it punches a lot of holes in in some of the stories, but. [11:50] Socrates woke up. [11:52] And he wasn't treated very well. [11:53] He got hung up. [12:19] Truth isn't welcome in many places, see. [12:21] Most, actually. [12:23] Stories and dreams are far more interesting. [12:25] Supported.

• Soft Ruthlessness
  (Toltec) A state of unbending intent to communicate directly and factually, free from harshness, force, or emotional drama. It is the core mechanism for dismantling relational inauthenticity.
• Unbending Intent
  (Toltec) A steady, unwavering commitment to speak and abide in what is true, without being swayed by social conditioning, personal preference, or the patterns of others.
• Interactive Freedom
  A rare relational dynamic where all parties have ceased performing. It is characterized by direct, untarnished communication, allowing 'Beingness to meet Beingness' without avoidance.
• Dance of Shadows
  The common mode of social interaction based on polite avoidance, navigating triggers, and maintaining appearances. It is the opposite of Interactive Freedom and prevents genuine connection.
• Lumps Under the Carpet
  An engineering metaphor for the unspoken truths, resentments, and patterns that are ignored in a relationship. They create a hidden, unstable ground that must be constantly navigated.
• Drama Queen Pattern
  A specific ego-structure that equates the simple, factual expression of internal states (e.g., 'I feel off') with an overwrought, attention-seeking performance.
• Direct Communication
  The practice of stating what is occurring internally or externally in simple, factual terms. It is a skillful means to bypass the Mitoté and the ego's storytelling.
• Agreements
  (Toltec) The collection of unconscious domestications and beliefs that dictate one's reality, such as the agreement that expressing discomfort is 'dramatic'.
• The Mitoté
  (Toltec) The internal fog of conflicting thoughts, opinions, and judgments; the incessant noise of the 'committee' in the head that obscures direct seeing.
• Beingness meeting Beingness
  A state of interaction where the unconditioned consciousness in one person directly connects with the unconditioned consciousness in another, free from the distortions of ego-structures.