How Inner Work Flowered My Creativity as a Musician | Shyama Paris

[00:00:03] I was coming out of my teenage years and so lost and even on the verge of suicide and completely in a dark place and giving up and just not knowing how to get out of it. [00:00:15] It was like I just getting to that that point I just landed somewhere that was going to change everything and I had no idea that it was also everything that I had been looking for and I had been travelling searching for somewhere that was gonna give me answers and for this like inner knowing that there was more to life and like this suffering that I was experiencing just couldn't be true because something in me that life is beautiful and being is such a gift and then stumbling across the IFP and Rohan. [00:00:54] It was like wow all of that is true and it's here and now there's someone who's showing me how to find that within myself through living it experientially. [00:01:07] And probably one of the biggest places that I've felt that change in my life is the way that I was so restrained by fear and by what people would think of me. [00:01:19] So I've loved music my whole life and love playing it love sharing it with people but always would get stuck in the fear of not being good enough or just there's so many of them. [00:01:33] And I think that was probably a big thing I started working on when I was here was talking about it and Rohan really helped me like just unpack a lot of the fears I had and now I gig like on a weekly to monthly basis and can support my family doing something that I love and there's like not an ounce of fear in me when I'm doing it now it's just like a full expression from my heart and it's just beautiful because in that like when all the fear is not there it's just pure love and that's just what can flow through and I see that not only with music but everything in my life now like my relationships and it hasn't been easy at all getting there. [00:02:22] You have to face the shadows that are within and the fears and look them right in the eye and be willing to let them go and that in that in itself can be really scary too but then the freedom and the love that you feel after is just priceless and I wouldn't live in any other way and I just feel like the deepest gratitude especially for Rohan and his patience and his like unbending truth is just so valuable in this world that can feel so confusing at times. [00:04:01] Something else that I understood with music was like where it can come from and like the power that creativity has coming from the right place. [00:04:14] So when I used to sing music a lot of it was coming from pain and I mean that had had its purpose in itself but coming more into my heart and the power we have to sing from our heart and to create from our heart and to share from our heart and what flowing effect that has and another aspect that really helped me here was having that there but then also having the tools to be able to move that into the world. [00:04:47] So without having the fear there I was able to be functional to be able to like book gigs and the clearer that I got the more I could see how I could turn this love of mine into a functioning business and then it would benefit my family and myself as well as the world and that just is even now continuing to grow and expand. [00:05:17] Because there's a vulnerability I don't know there's a vulnerability in however you sing but when it's really from the heart it just feels extra close. [00:05:27] So a lot of the times I would get on stage and I'd feel really nervous and I'd just just soften my body and I'd just breathe and just really feel into the center of my chest and allow that to expand and really come into that's what's got to be first because if I'm doing it for them I'm out there and it's for all these other reasons but if I can just come in and I just focus on my heart then that's what becomes alive and that's what I give to them and that's like just the most valuable thing I can give to them above even the music I'm creating is the feeling of of heart and love.

• Shadow Hunting
  The disciplined practice of directly observing and confronting repressed psychological patterns, such as the fear of judgment, to dismantle their power.
• Ego-Structures
  Conditioned patterns of identity, like the 'fearful artist,' which operate automatically and generate suffering until they are deconstructed through direct seeing.
• The Mitoté (The Fog)
  The internal noise of conflicting thoughts, fears, and doubts that obscures clarity and prevents direct, heart-centered expression. The source of performance anxiety.
• Agreements
  Unconscious beliefs accepted as truth, such as 'I am not good enough,' which form the foundation of ego-structures and limit one's capacity for freedom.
• Direct Realization
  The experiential seeing of what is true, independent of belief or thought. In this context, realizing that fear is an optional pattern, not a fundamental reality.
• Cessation of Suffering
  The end of psychological distress that occurs when one stops identifying with the mind's painful narratives and ego-structures, as seen in the dissolution of stage fright.
• The 'I AM'
  Unconditioned Consciousness, often referred to as 'the heart' in this transcript; the source of authentic expression once the noise of the ego is cleared.
• Deconstruction
  The methodical process of taking apart psychological patterns and agreements to see their impersonal and illusory nature, rather than trying to 'heal' or 'fix' them.
• Skillful Means
  Precise, practical techniques or 'medicine' for interrupting specific patterns, such as the described practice of softening the body and breathing into the heart before performing.
• Abiding in the Self
  Resting as pure awareness or 'the heart,' rather than being caught in the mind's activity. The state from which fearless, authentic creation flows.